Warning, Construction Zone!

Yes, I went missing. However, I have returned!

It's been a hard couple of weeks for me...lots of craziness going on around me, and well, I hit a point where I didn't know what to do with myself as far as my weight loss/running/diet goes.

See, I've been trying to count calories. Wait, let's rewind a little.

First, let me give you a list of things I worry about every day:

Kids.
Husband.
Our house.
The gym.
Blogs. (This one and AngelFoodie...and then there's the family one I haven't updated since March.)
Posting in Oxygen.
My job. (Obviously this isn't in any order.)
Counting calories.
My therapy journal.
My two-hour commute.
My new side job as a freelance journalist.

I am constantly trying to do all of the above perfectly. When that doesn't happen, I'm terribly down on myself. I am setting myself up for disappointment! Why? Who knows...I think in my own head, I'd prefer to be superwoman (or look like superwoman) than do so much less, but better.

Not anymore. I decided to start taking my life back.

Currently, this is what's on my plate (in order) after that (hopefully) life-changing decision I made yesterday:

Family.
Our house.
My job.
The gym.
My therapy journal.
Weight Watchers meetings.
Blogs. (This one and the family one I haven't updated since March.)

A little explanation. I cut the recent decision to freelance from my list. While I feel accomplished in getting the job, I can't see myself being clear-minded enough to come up with local foodie articles every day. I have so much going on at work that it's hard for me to take a break to write. When I write, I'm super detailed. Every word must be spelled correctly, grammar must be superb...(okay, there's an occasion misstep, sure). I don't have the time. I don't know how I thought I did.

Family is ALWAYS first and foremost important. Of course. No explanation needed there, but I have to say, I need to start focusing on my time with them. I will help myself through this tremendously by cutting down on what I think I need to be handling. The house. I've figured out that I just need a daily plan/to-do list! Cross 'em off, baby...laundry once a day, non-Roomba vacuuming on weekends, etc...

I was having a seriously hard time with what to do with my big blog, AngelFoodie Eats. It has gotten me to "Featured Publisher" status on FoodBuzz. I LOVE to cook. I love to hear that my food is delicious. I LOVE that I am "important enough" to be a featured publisher. I was holding onto it, because I felt...important. I was starting to feel overwhelmed. Gotta come up with new recipes! Gotta take pictures! Gotta write! Gotta get more traffic.

Screw that. Too much stress.

Oxygen...I've met a few wonderful ladies there, but after starting a new journal, AGAIN, there, I found there's something making me cringe. The negativity. For instance, new journal. It got rated 5 stars. Cool! Then someone came through and downrated it with a 1, making it a 3.

Childish.

Even though I don't give a rat's ass who did it or that it was done...here's what I do care about:

Maturity. Support. Friendship. Respect.

Here's where I rant:

A fitness forum is supposed to be a form of support. Somewhere a person can go to, vent, ask questions, make friends, get ideas, and just be. Sometimes you come across a person that needs more support, at the time, than he or she can give at the time. Like me. I go in there, vent, journal workouts, etc. I wish I had time to go in everyone else's journals and comment. I just very rarely have the time. So, sure, I shouldn't expect much traffic. However, my traffic shouldn't include someone who goes out of his or her way to sabotage the positive, supportive feeling someone gets out of a place like that. I don't know...I guess some people need to do stuff like that to validate themselves? Anyway, the rating doesn't matter to me...what does is that I'm looking for a mature audience. Haha. So, I've decided to just stick to my lovely blog. I just don't have a good feeling about that place anymore...

Now it comes down to calorie counting. I've heard too many times of how calorie counting has caused people to become obsessive. (This sort of brings me back to Oxygen...I'm finding that the people that cause the issues around there are of the obsessive type.) First, I don't have the time. I barely have time to cut my own vegetables, let alone weigh them. Haha. Second, I can't remember all the numbers. I can't seem to figure out where my thresholds are: what's too high? what's too low? I'm too all over the place, and something's been telling me not to do this. Oh, that's right...it's my gut...feeling.

So, after my friend Lisa mentioned Weight Watchers...I remembered the success that I had with it. I remembered how easy it was for me to lose 16 pounds in a month. I remember how good it felt to know I actually HAD to stay accountable, because someone was weighing me. I didn't feel ashamed walking in there. I felt renewed...

So yesterday, I rejoined.

What a perfect day to join, too...this is for another post. A fresh post!